I understand what this poem is getting at; however, there are a few lines that confuse me.  I think the main reason for this is because the rhyme scheme seems a tad bit forced in a couple stanzas.  This poem is very emotionally driven, especially

"My heart might break, but my soul just imploded
I’m hopeless, unfocused, and my gun is loaded."
 

This is one of the stanzas that confused me.  By saying "my heart might break, but my soul just imploded" leaves me, as the reader, wondering what you mean; it is a little vague and isn't explained in the rest of the poem.  This is especially important for such an emotionally charged statement that is alluding to suicide. 

The first stanza is also the last.  How were you ultimately defeated? To what does "paints deafening thoughts" refer?  The imagery in this poem was good, but vague.  Nevertheless, I liked the line "You can't see my pain but saw into my scars."  This poem is very personal; it seems to reflect a lot of personal agony.  That is something that most readers can easily relate to.  In poetry, the mode of this relation is found in the choice of words and execution.  This is something we all can improve.

There is a lot of emotion projected, however

It sounds like a love lost

And you're saddened, ruined.

You can't win, at any cost

So you load up the revolver.

Was she so out of tune and

did you seek out a lover?

She was harmful, with no feelings.

Your writing becomes jumbled and awkward

Is she the reason, you're all over the map

With your vagueness and road forks

I don't care if it rhymes, as long as it echoes

with comprehensible meaning, instead

by your own writing, you become Intangible:

Incapable of being perceived by the senses

Midway, I gave up, reached for my pistol

And sadly, here are the results:

. . .  . . .

It seems like this poem is more about trying to find rhythm and rhyme than trying to communicate something real. So much of this seems forced and unintelligible and I can't help to think that most of the words you used in this were used only in an attempt to rhyme and have rhythm... there was one line I kinda liked

you're so chatty with blind men-
Leave them all wondering, when they’ll see you again.

It was a bit clever, but the rest of the poem was mostly painful. My biggest suggestion is that the next time you write a poem put your focus on imagery and emotion and forget about beat and rhyme. Unless you want to write hip hop lyrics...

L