This was fascinating.  I never imagined that a goldfish might be so resentful.  There is what I think is a typo, "where I ate and swim my life away", and since the rest is present tense, I assume you meant "eat". 

I'm not sure if it's different with a fish bowl, but with a fish tank you can't see through the glass.  I stuck my head in one as a kid, but I kept the overhead light on a little, I only saw my reflection...although maybe it's because of the overhead light...I don't know.  I'll experiment and let you know.  The point of that is that if the fish can't see out of its bowl, then I don't think he can complain much about human faces...Just thoughts, but I thought the rest of it was very interesting and well written. 

Am I wrong about the end, where there's some guy masturbating in front of the bowl, and that's what the fish is talking about the whole time?  I may just have a warped mind...minor point of confusion for me, then again, I'm possibly a little inebriated...Anyway, it's a good read.

 This is going to really need some work.  The first thing is that the word "water" needs to be in quotation marks since you are breaking it down as an element.  When you continue with "Likewise", that is a new sentense.  You shouldn't use a semicolon. 

I also was confused on the point of view of the character.  And why would a goldfish sacrifice free will and human reasoning?  If the goldfish is expressing envy of the freedom humans have outside of the bowl, talk about that. And "divinely created" does not need a hyphen. If a fish doesn't reason and think, wasn't the sentense "likewise, you must sacrifice the gorgeous, awesome, divinely-created gifts of free will and human reasoning"    something the fish was thinking about?  Inconsistent with the sentense that followed. Again, eliminate the semicolon and take out "to say the least".  And "The philosophy behind swimming..." is a brand new sentense.

The dashes are also unnecessary.  You should either use three dots or commas in the place of the dashes.  And I think the sentense about the 3-second memory span and short-term memory loss need to be switched around. 

"Most intelligent" does not need a hyphen and if " that hideous, grotesque, monster-like personage"

is describing a human face, you need to add the word "with" so that we don't get that sentence confused with the description of the goldfish's "prison".  And I don't understand the relevance of the last sentence talking about the violent ejaculation unless that was describing the goldfish being flushed.

You can work this into a story, though. But the hyphens and dashes need to go.  Think periods and commas and quotation marks.  It'll work better.

 This was indeed pretty fascinating, but a few points need to be addressed.  Wikipedia says:

 "The oldest recorded goldfish lived to 49 years,<sup id= "cite_ref-1"><a title="" href= "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goldfish#cite_note-1">[2]</a></sup> but most household goldfish generally live only six to eight years, due to being kept in bowls."

If the fish has a three-second memory span and forgets everything else, how can it have "intense knowledge of the element water, including its molecular properties, and the physics required in order to swim"?

I don't agree with some of brothafett's comments.  I don't think "water" needs to be in quotes, nor do I think you need a "with" when you describe the face (the comma should make it clear you've switched).

The dashes are okay, if that's what you like (I think they're supposed to be em-dashes?).  I don't like the semi-colons, though.  I know you're trying to make this into one long sentence-thought, but just because you're using a semi-colon instead of a period doesn't make it one.  Unless you can figure out ways to really make it into one sentence, just cut all those semi-colons and use periods instead.

Likewise, some of it needs proofreading and editing.  Stream-of-consciousness is good, but it doesn't mean you don't have to proofread.  If anything, you probably need to do it even more so that it makes sense.

it’s clear to me that you have nothing to offer, no warmth or comfort, are merely filled with pride that you, Man, is the most intelligent of all the creatures, as you mock us and view yourselves as kings.  I am but a petty fish in a bowl swimming and eating the minutes and hours away while you lounge on your davenport staring into the abyss of nothingness, while I eat and swim my life away.

The last sentence doesn't really fit with the rest of it, which I guess is what you were going for.  Maybe stating it in a less "matter-of-fact" way might work, though?

 It's an interesting piece, overall.    It's a little difficult to wade through for me, mostly because it's one huge paragraph and there are quite a few very long sentences.   If you could split them into two paragraphs to give the eye some rest, and break the sentences down into two or more sentences, the mind is able to take a "pause" before going on to read the next sentence.   Someone else called them "sentence-thoughts" and I can see it, but it doesn't quite work for me.

I find it interesting that the goldfish has only three seconds before it forgets everything - and yet is able to ruminate on such thoughts as these, which clearly takes more than three seconds?   I also liked the last line.  Violent ejaculation? Makes me glad I'm not male!

Looking forward to more!

 I like this, it was very... insightful. 

The way I interpreted the ending was that these are the musings of a young man having sex for the first time, and during his orgasm starts thinking about the workings of the mind of a goldfish...

Kinda strange, but so am I

=)

Definitely very interesting, Mr. Tailor.  The obvious irony of a fish's thinking about lack of thought and memory is very enjoyable.  I just wonder this, if so free to bask in existence, why is the fish so angry?

The ending was a great touch.

I agree with brothafett on a few things. Although I found it quite interesting that the majority of the piece was one long sentence, I think the use of semicolons and dashes takes away from the piece. It makes it feel very drawn-out. I would stick with more periods and commas, as suggest earlier.

To me, it seemed a bit "all over the place". I found it a bit difficult at times to figure out the transition with some parts, and the overall theme. However, maybe that was the idea with the "3 second memory", and that nothing is supposed to connect. If not, I would suggest taking one aspect and focussing on that, such as the fish's dislike of humans, or its human owner.

Otherwise, I thought it was a very great idea. It was still written well, but does need work. Keep improving on it, and I think you'll have a very, very good piece to really show off.