Hmm. I really liked this. I have just a couple of things I want to address.

Well first off most of the imagery was beautiful. Simply stunning. I really like your writing style, you can see your character coming strongly through it. I can taste this polished poem, it tastes like amazing.

I have some challenges with a few of the lines, but maybe I am just being picky. Its interesting how you sort of do this question and answer thing inside of your poem. It is something I am not overly accustomed to as much and it kind of sticks out to me but maybe thats just my taste. I'm not saying you should change it, mayeb you should just read it over a couple of times and see how you personally feel about the flow, for how you feel about it is definitively important.

I found the ending to abrupt, it sounds more like you got cut off in the middle of a verse, in the middle of a thought, like there is still more to say. So the poem doesn't rest easy with me, it feels like their should be more and that is bothering me a smidge. I suggest you maybe extend that verse a bit and use a sentence that is like distungishing a candle, a final bang that sounds like it is supposed to be an ending. I am also curious as to why you think it is like a thunderstorm. You have explained in which areas it is like one but you haven't really told us why or how. So I definitely think that last verse needs a fair bit of editing. It would be really good to fix up these problems and extend it for it almost takes away from the rest of the poem, which is a very good piece as a whole, it just needs a bit of fixing.

More like a wave.

To see it, truly see it

one must

ride it, balanced

at its precipice.

Let circle it in around you

the sun reflecting through like

an opalescent, azure kaleidoscope

"Like an opalescent, azure kaleidoscope". Sorry, I just had to repeat that twice, that is the most stunning line in your poem, its the catch, the hook, the reel in, the clincher. Simply amazing and that whole verse (as shown above) is possibly the most stunning in the work. It really speaks to me and is my personal favourite. I really love the wording it in, espeically that last line, it is awe-inspiring and incredible.

This could be a truly brilliant poem as long as  you fix up the last little bit, that is the only thing stopping it from being such.

Thank you for writing this and good luck.

~Michelle Erin.

To fix the spacing issue, go into "source" view when you edit the poem, cut out all the <p></p> tags and replace them with a <br /> at the end of each line.  Stanzas should probably stay in a <p> </p> overall, otherwise it'll just be one solid stanza.  That, or use two <br/ ><br /> at the end of each stanza.

This is what I do in all my poetry on this site, because the paragraph-every-line thing is weird.

An interesting, original, and as you say "self-referential poem." You didn't write a couple lines of description, you wrote a full-fledged poem about what makes a polished poem. I don't think I know what a polished poem is, or that anyone can truly know, because it's immeasurable and different for each person. "What is a polished poem" is really rather an unanswerable question; one can answer it for his or herself, as you have done in this poem, but he or she can't answer for everyone, or even for a single other person.

I like how each stanza after the first one answers one of the questions that make up the last three lines of the first stanza, in order. It reminds me of the Beatles song "Here There And Everywhere" how each of the words in the title are sung about in order. A bit off-topic, maybe, but that's what I thought of when I read it.

There was only one error that caught my eye:

Let circle it in around you

The wording doesn't really make sense; did you mean "Let it circle around you"?

And just one more "iffy" stlyistic choice in my mind:

But I'm still sticking to my

ripe and juicy

soft and sweet

Oh! the feel of it against your tongue!

 

That last line seems to interrupt your, or at least the reader's, natural progression of thinking, or train of thought, and I don't think it's a good idea to do that. I think you're describing the strawberry before the last line there, but there's no way for me, or any other reader, to be sure what you're talking about. That and that error in the line I've described above or the only kind of glaring things that brought me, and might bring other readers, out of the poem, and you want to avoid that if you can. Otherwise a very good job and an original, or at least not overused, subject.

Zed! I really, really enjoyed this, which is the main reason I didn't critique it earlier. What to say?

But I thought of something. In fact, I thought of a couple of somethings.

First and foremost: I don't think you should say "polished poem" more than once, and you say it twice. I vote you begin the poem like you do, then abandon the phrase. No need to beat us over the head with it; we'll remember.

The other thing: are you stanzas worked out differently on purpose? I like the format of the last two stanzas best--the question paired with the answer works really well; but the way that you've scrunched

What does it sound like?
Anything like a painting?

No,
nothing like a painting.

the taste, sound, smell questions with the first "Anything like?" question is a little aesthetically displeasing, and later becomes inconsistent, so you might consider changing that. Also, at first I was going to say you should cut the "No," line, but it's grown on me in the last two minutes or so. This is a really good stanza, and the only thing I wish was different was that "Heaven in a dixie cup" is its own logical sentence; I'd rather that it was set off from the wave/kaleidoscope images by a dash, to show the dynamism of your thought and whatnot ^_^.

Anything like a strawberry?
Some might say a polished poem
tastes like a pomegranate.

Here's the second instance of "polished poem;" you might try "Some might say it/tastes more like a pomegranate" or something like that, and then that would clarify the ambiguity about whether or not you did think it was more like a strawberry that was mentioned earlier. For the record, I really like the last three lines of this stanza too, although in the fourth-to-last line I think the "Oh!" might be a bit much; then again, it might not (things tend to grow on me if i'm not careful. I'll end up with a life full of homely, half-liked things if I don't watch out).

The last stanza is my favorite, absolutely perfect, and not too abrupt for me--it's a revelation: "Exactly like a thunderstorm." And you use onomatopoeia really well here, too, which is probably why it's my favorite, since that is my favorite part of speech.

Good job. Also, in case it matters to you, the expression "polished poem" probably comes from the classical period, in which after writing their poems on scrolls of papyrus (called libri, books), they used a pumice stone to rub (that is, polish) the edges of the scroll so that it would be even and smooth, when they were all done. So there you go (it's a good thing your muse isn't a classics major).

How interesting, your choice of words. At one point you relate a poem to a strawberry, then a thunderstorm. I like that. It holds a great sense of knowing. I can hint the sarcasm in the title and start, but then it kind of blossoms, like a flower. You painted a picture in MY mind of the a strawberry field and two children picking strawberries. Then a storm appears and the children run home, just to find out that their parents were watching them the whole time. It's really kinda' interesting.

 Oh my god that wsa simply beautiful i will read more of your work. Iam regretfull i cant now but sadly i am in class i will return and write a larger critique.

lynn