Surface
fantasy, ambiguous, reflective, life, poetry
Published on:
April 28, 11:54pmWord Count:
109Last Edited:
April 28, 11:55pmWork Description
Reflections on life
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’cross smoky waters do I traverse
Sailing above a sunken universe
No direction set, no compass have I
to give direction, I watch the sky --
guiding points of light I spy
I skim the surface with slender thumb
’cross the mind new worlds have come
Belayed the darkness with thoughtful wind
the hopes of mine help despair rescind
and gave me pause on this path I’m pinned
Reflected on these endless waves
the things that my weaken’d heart craves
I wander this, the eternal sea
for scattered fragments left of me
and ponder less now that I’m free
To think of what is to be
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enjoyable, most definitley 
I like it. I see where your comeing from in your writing, I think. I believe that you are more refletive in your poety than others. I like how the first part is like you just sailing and your lost. Than you give more meaning to where your at, lost in the worlds. You searching, which is what most of us are, and pondering and the way you put it in useing the sea, is great. All in all a great read. Keep writing!
ok well i wont to start off by saying this is really good. My only comment on this piece is that i know that you trying to make everything rhyme but i dont exactly understand why you would put the words like you did in the line "no compass have i" i think that it would sound better if you said i have no compass or no compass i have or something. I just think that "no compass have i" makes no sence and that line and that line only makes it sound like you were trying to say something but you couldnt get it out right and it kind of came out backwards. I also think that the "to think of what is to be" doesnt fit. all of the other lines go with something else and this line is all by itself. other than that i think you did a nice job