A few years back, I finished a novel, my first. Well, my first that wasn’t god-awful. The novel was based on my life: a coming-of-age story about pizza, drugs, first love, friendship and death. I had changed enough to call it fiction. Feeling like a proud papa, I sent it off to a few agents who’d shown some interest after my initial query letter, and shortly, magically, I had acquired an agent. He loved my book, and assured me we’d find it a good home. “Am I dreaming?” I thought. “Could this really be happening to me?” So, I sat back and waited for my future as a successful novelist to begin. I waited. And waited. Then waited some more. Nothing. My panic growing, I called my agent. “What’s going on?” Agents are thoughtful, tender folks, like mothers nursing their babies. They don’t want to call you and tell you all the negative things said by publishers about your work. They let you down easy. “Looks like the book isn’t going to sell. Everyone loved the book, really, but they question its marketability,” he told me, my dreams dashed. “This book’s just not gonna happen right now,” he said.
That was that. My book was dead. Many people had read and loved the novel, but it wasn’t going to be published. I was devastated. I couldn’t write for weeks after hearing the bad news. I drowned my sorrows in cigarettes and chocolate. Then my sadness passed. I thought, “Okay, so my novel didn’t sell, but the next one will be better, so good they won’t be able to deny me.” I started writing again, fully aware that I might have more rejection waiting for me. But I’m a writer. I write. I pick my pathetic ass off the ground and write. I slap myself in the face and write. I stop my woe-is-me sulking and write. I just write.
Rejection is not failure. Giving up is failure. As long as you’re writing, you’re doing just fine. A writer must write for him or herself, because for our kind, a life without words is no life at all. If you stop writing and don’t miss it, you’re probably not meant to be a writer. I often say, “Even if I’m never a successful novelist, I’ll always write, because it’s what I do.” Yes, rejection hurts, but it strengthens us as writers, forces us to do better, work harder, never give up.
Are all published writers great? No way. Are all unpublished writers terrible? Of course not. To be successful, though, you must brush rejection aside like a bad insult. I do know that most successful writers have one thing in common: they’ve overcome rejection numerous times and never let it deter them. We’ve all heard about popular writers who’d been rejected hundreds of times before finally catching a break. Great writing gets rejected every day. If you’ve got talent and desire, and keep sending out your work, you will find a champion somewhere in the publishing world. If you’re good, they will find you. They’ll probably offer you peanuts, but they will find you. That’s okay. It’s not about money, is it? Money would be nice, no doubt, but isn’t your desire to write based on the idea of leaving something creative in your wake? Something that will outlive you? Something an intelligent ape will find a thousand years from now when Planet of the Apes comes true? Something from your soul living on and read over and over ‘til the earth explodes? If you come into this world and leave creativity behind, you’ve done good.
The great news for writers today is, of course, the internet. If you post a story on the ‘net, someone is going to read it. You might get a wonderful comment from a guy named Hulk57 in Montana, or a girl named XenaStalker in Hoboken, and it’ll make your day, knowing there’s someone out there who has read and appreciated your work. I have a love/hate relationship with the internet, as I believe it’s leading to the eventual downfall of real books, but there’s no doubting its power to get a writer’s words to an appreciative audience.
If writing is your passion, and I know it is, you must never stop. Even when you’re on vacation or taking a break for the holidays, always keep your mind actively thinking of what you’ll be writing when you get that keyboard or pen back in your hand. Don’t ever let your brain off the hook. Never stop. Even when they reject you. Especially when they reject you. Because they reject you. Write.
Comments & Discussion
Rejection is not failure. Giving up is failure. As long as you’re writing, you’re doing just fine. A writer must write for him or herself, because for our kind, a life without words is no life at all. If you stop writing and don’t miss it, you’re probably not meant to be a writer. I often say, “Even if I’m never a successful novelist, I’ll always write, because it’s what I do.” Yes, rejection hurts, but it strengthens us as writers, forces us to do better, work harder, never give up.
I reply:
Yes sir! You have hit the mark. As soon as anyone does -anything- at least half the world will disapprove and reject whatever it is. So rejection is apple pie normal. Living with it takes some skill. Apparently you have found a way, and good for you!
Bob Kolker
very encouraging, and i'm back
up on the horse. (okay, i was kinda already on the horse, but i'm
sitting straighter now. 
)
Also, remember, every day that you write, you're a little better than the day before. I don't know...I always kind of think, "Okay, Project A, B & C didn't work out, but without them, I couldn't have reached Project D, which is a success." For me, the great excitement of writing is tied to the great pain of writing: waiting. Tomorrow could hold sadness or joy; a writer can wake any morning and have her/his life changed forever. And that's pretty awesome.
How many rejection letters make a writer? I don't know, but I burned a stack of same that was three inches deep at a friend's bonfire, thinking perhaps I could erase the negativity and start over.
One does not start over as a writer. One carries on. In my case, I might have saved those letters and seen the progress I made over the years, perhaps even remember the events that coincided with all that proof that I was not all I hoped to be.
I might have remembered the people who said I could never earn a living as a writer, and to those individuals I might say that I spent years as a journalist, earning my living as - guess what? A writer!
I might have recalled the words they said, and the endless hours at typewriter and keyboard that produced not just one, but an entire shelf full of titles with my name in the author line.
I had to write, there was no doubt about that. Maybe I will never be famous, maybe I will never earn a great deal of money, but I would have done what my heart demanded I be. Let these words be left behind: She wrote.
Whenever I feel quite depressed,
and want to give writing a rest,
I simply try to remember the reasons I write.
I probably won’t earn a lot,
or pen an original plot,
or give any critics incentive to add their insight.
I just want these words that I’ve bled
to someday and somewhere be read
by a person who’ll sit up and say, “That’s just how I feel!
There is beauty within this page
in its love and laughter and rage,
and the characters are so alive that they must be real.”
So I can sit, and moan, and curse,
and do things that are even worse,
but nothing like that will cause me to feel great delight.
If I ever want to succeed
at fulfilling this burning need,
I must kick myself in the butt and sit down and write!
I think I wrote that 20 years ago. I still haven't given up. Right now, it's still a hobby. But note to Lucy Liu: If you ever want to become a professional, you must take a more objective, professional view. Rejection is a part of life. The word "criticism" is not necessarily negative, if you take the lesson and make yourself better. Best of luck to us all.
